David's Fudge

This fudge is a bit different from the usual, sticky, gooey kind. It's somewhat flakier and crumblier than what most people are used to. Tastes better, too. Why, some people who've eaten it tell me enthusiastically that it's the best fudge they've ever had! And they're right.

Ingredients

• Sugar, 4 cups
  
  
• Salt, 1 teaspoon
  
  
• Butter, 1/2 cup (= 1 stick)
  Sure, you could use margarine or something else without animal fat, but you're making fudge! Which is mostly sugar! So why not let the cow help you?
  
  
• Milk, 1 cup
  Sure, you could use low-fat ... See above. Use whole milk.
  
  
• Chocolate, 4 ounces (= 4 squares)
  Use the plain, unsweetened, pure cacao type, such as Baker's Chocolate. Don't, for the love of God, use Hershey's Kisses! People who use those to make fudge should never be allowed to eat fudge again.
  
  
• Vanilla extract, 2 teaspoons

Procedure

1. When you're done, you'll need a greased 9-inch square pan to cool the fudge in, so prepare the pan ahead of time. Grease it with butter or soft margarine. (You can use margarine for this aspect of fudge making. It's okay. We won't tell.)
   
   
2. Combine all of the ingredients except the vanilla extract in a saucepan. You'll be boiling the mixture, and it will rise a fair amount in the pan when it boils, so make sure the pan is big enough to allow extra room.
   
   
3. Heat on the stove top on a low to medium heat, stirring slowly or at least frequently. Stirring is important when making any kind of candy because otherwise the sugar burns onto the bottom of the pot, and you'll hate yourself or whomever you're making the fudge for or me. You can't go away while the stuff cooks. Making candy requires commitment.
   
   
4. When the mixture starts bubbling, stir it slowly (see above) and let it boil steadily for about ten minutes. Longer is okay, but less isn't. If you don't boil the stuff for long enough, you'll end up with chocolate sludge instead of chocolate fudge.
   
   
5. Eventually, turn off the heat. Add the vanilla extract. (Careful: the mixture will boil up vigorously when you add the vanilla.) Beat energetically.
   
   
6. Pour mixture into the greased pan.
   
   
7. Keep the kids and cats away for the next few hours, or even overnight. While you're not looking, or while you're sleeping, the fudge fairy will whack the jelling mixture with her (or possibly his) magic wand and convert it from a strange, hot liquid into fudge.
   
   
8. Cut it into squares. Eat it.

How Much Does This Make?

Probably more than you should eat. At one sitting, anyway. Try to make it last. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Riiiight. We try, but we never succeed.